This is the Golden Rule of Dating: give your other what’s needed most before taking what you want now. Or, giving > taking. That’s it. Nothing fancy. Just give instead of take.
This is the example Jesus set for us on the cross. And he commands us to follow in his footsteps in our relationships.
Flying vs. falling in love
But when you fly, you have stability. There’s gliding and swooping. You’re at once carefree and precise. Flying is graceful, swift, and efficient. And when gravity pulls you down, your prevalent thought is, “Where should I land?”
Flying still requires that you take a risk of the heart. But it’s a risk entirely different from that of falling.
Why you should fly
To date without the end goal of marriage, for instance, is the exact opposite of giving someone what he or she needs most. It takes what you want now and ultimately leaves the other hurt and broken. Your other needs to know that you’re dating him or her to gauge whether or not forever makes sense for both of you.
So before you even begin your relationship, ask yourself, “Is this someone I could spend my life with?” I’m not saying you should come out and say, “I’m lookin’ to marry you, sweet thang,” on a first date. I’m just saying that, before long, you need to be perfectly clear about your intentions.
5 key ways you can fly
1. Purity: How can I give my other what they need most (purity) over taking what I want now (sexual intimacy)?
2. Differences: How can I give my other what they need most (embrace their unique, God-given differences) over taking what I want now (make them more like me)?
3. To know: How can I give my other what they need most (know their interests, goals, habits, values, beliefs, life vision, and mistakes) over taking what I want now (stay in nonthreatening areas of discussion to avoid conflict)?
4. To be known: How can I give my other what they need most (know the real me) over taking what I want now (conceal the truth about myself because I’m afraid he or she won’t accept the real me)?
5. Pointing one another to Jesus: How can I give my other what they need most (fall deeper in love with Jesus) over taking what I want now (be into me more than Christ)?