A Weekly Dose of Authentic Ways to Live Like Jesus can Change the Course of Your Life

Here’s what you can expect:



Be the Change in Church! Join the Newsletter to Get the 45-Minute Video Series, Audiobook, and 5 PDF Downloads  (Plus Dating Bonuses!) 

5 Key Ways You Can Fly, Not Fall

Caleb Breakey - Wednesday, February 12, 2014

This is the Golden Rule of Datinggive your other what’s needed most before taking what you want now. Or, giving > taking. That’s it. Nothing fancy. Just give instead of take.

This is the example Jesus set for us on the cross. And he commands us to follow in his footsteps in our relationships.

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”
John 15:12

I call this act of giving what’s needed most over taking what’s wanted now “flying” because it’s the polar opposite of “falling.”

Flying vs. falling in love

When you fall in love, you’re out of control. There’s no slowing down. Nothing to hold on to. No way to choose where you land—or crash. Gravity pulls you down, and your dominant thought is, “Will I survive this?

But when you fly, you have stability. There’s gliding and swooping. You’re at once carefree and precise. Flying is graceful, swift, and efficient. And when gravity pulls you down, your prevalent thought is, “Where should I land?

Flying still requires that you take a risk of the heart. But it’s a risk entirely different from that of falling.

Why you should fly

Flying teaches you how to give instead of take. It pushes you to become the love-filled, others-focused person God created you to be. Whereas falling hurts you and your partner, flying grows your soul and moves you toward a Jesus-first, love-filled, marriage-bound relationship.

To date without the end goal of marriage, for instance, is the exact opposite of giving someone what he or she needs most. It takes what you want now and ultimately leaves the other hurt and broken. Your other needs to know that you’re dating him or her to gauge whether or not forever makes sense for both of you.

So before you even begin your relationship, ask yourself, “Is this someone I could spend my life with?” I’m not saying you should come out and say, “I’m lookin’ to marry you, sweet thang,” on a first date. I’m just saying that, before long, you need to be perfectly clear about your intentions.

5 key ways you can fly

How else can you practice flying in a relationship? Here are five key questions to ask yourself, adapted from Dating Like Airplanes: 

1. Purity: How can I give my other what they need most (purity) over taking what I want now (sexual intimacy)?

2. Differences: How can I give my other what they need most (embrace their unique, God-given differences) over taking what I want now (make them more like me)?

3. To know: How can I give my other what they need most (know their interests, goals, habits, values, beliefs, life vision, and mistakes) over taking what I want now (stay in nonthreatening areas of discussion to avoid conflict)?

4. To be known: How can I give my other what they need most (know the real me) over taking what I want now (conceal the truth about myself because I’m afraid he or she won’t accept the real me)?

5. Pointing one another to Jesus: How can I give my other what they need most (fall deeper in love with Jesus) over taking what I want now (be into me more than Christ)?

What are your thoughts? Leave your comments below

Emely commented on 27-Nov-2015 10:17 AM
You will discover choices to student loans along with grants For your bond that could never separate and a appreciate built to past Payday loans online UK is a regular source of consumer credit facility that may be made accessible in the market for the benefit of the people The Free Application for Federal government Student Guide, FAFSA, says that the Pell Offer should be invested in school-related expenses The process in the one has to check out regarding the request for no teletrack payday cash loans is very quick

my web page;

Post a Comment
  • Captcha Image

Trackback Link
Post has no trackbacks.

“Caleb’s passion for storytelling reminds me of a comet: rarely seen, white-hot, and a bit dangerous.”


Kevin Kaiser, Writer and Brand Strategist for Ted Dekker

In this beautiful book, Caleb gets real about all the reasons why we should love the Church—and what that actually implies about how we do life in the body of Christ.


Jefferson Bethke, Author of Jesus > Religion

Caleb’s heart for people and his passion for Jesus are clearly evident.


Aaron Friesen, Dean of Student Services, New Hope Christian College

Before you leave your church, before you spread rumors about your church, and before you abandon the church altogether, read Called to Stay.


Kyle Idleman, Author of Not a Fan and Gods at War

Caleb has a presence about him that exudes enthusiasm, passion, and a deep love for Jesus and the craft of writing.


Linda Gilden, CLASS Conference Director

This yellow book showcases a life-changing and God-glorifying adventure waiting for you in your own backyard.


Alex and Brett Harris, Authors of Do Hard Things and founders of

Caleb connects well with the audience, communicates clearly, and he is passionate about writing.


Tim Shoemaker, Author and Speaker

A rare book that is biblical, strategic, timely, well written and persuasive all at the same time.


Randy Alcorn, Author of Heaven and Safely Home

An incredible addition to our teaching faculty. His enthusiasm was contagious and we received great comments about his workshop.


Gerry Wakeland, Class Seminars President and CEO

Caleb Breakey challenges readers to think about our role in the church and how to respond to the changing landscape of culture within the church today.


Margaret Feinberg, Author of Wonderstruck

Caleb Breakey is a force of nature. He's an irresistible combination of youthful passion, practical wisdom, and thoughtful maturity.


Kim Aldrich, Class Attendee

Called to Stay is an important invitation to bloom where you’re planted in the body of Christ.


Mary DeMuth, Author of The Wall Around Your Heart

A biblical mandate mixed with a masterful appeal, Called To Stay recruits believers into a special-forces unit called Infiltrators. I was compelled to enlist. You will be too.


Wayne Cordeiro, New Hope Christian Fellowship

Caleb Breakey does a great job of advocating high standards and intentionality without slipping into the ditch of legalism


Brett Harris, Author of Do Hard Things