Rules are not the centerpiece of modesty. Necklines and skirt lengths for girls and shirts on or off for guys isn't the big deal. The main issue of modesty is exactly what we've been talking about all along: giving what your other needs most instead of taking what you want now.
What does your other need most when it comes to modesty?
SAFETY FROM LUST
As much as you want your other to find your body attractive, the dating relationship is supposed to be a testing time for true love and compatibility, not a tease of how sexy you are.
Most men and women today struggle with lust. Get honest with yourself about what you wear or don't wear.
You want the other person falling in love with you ... not just eager to see more of you.
SAFETY FROM TOUCHING
When two people in love touch each other, sparks fly. It's a natural sensation. But if something feels good, you usually want more, more, more.
Holding hands for the first time is electrifying, but not as electrifying after a week. So you try a kiss on the cheek, which leads to passionate kissing, and then something even more sensual.
Doing this is like putting a steak on a Doberman's snout: You're going to get bit. As much as you want to, don't succumb to flirtatious touching. It won't end well.
SAFETY FROM YOUR LIPS
Again, the tongue is a powerful thing, as we looked into in this blog post. The words you say or whisper to your other can make his or her head spin a hundred miles per hour.
This can be a very bad thing if what you're saying is laced with sexuality. When you turn your other on, you're turning them off to God.
And that's the worst thing you can do in the relationship. That's taking what you want, not giving what's needed most.
"For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God" — 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5