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Some Hurt is Good

Caleb Breakey - Thursday, May 22, 2014
photo courtesy of

Even if you’re great at controlling your physical urges, harnessing your tongue, and responding rightly to inner alarms, it doesn’t mean much if you freely allow your other to make advances on you.

One of the most loving things Brittney ever did for me was confront me about my advances toward her. I still remember the words she said and the follow-up letter she wrote me. It hurt like crazy to see how terribly I’d gone against God, forced the love of my life into a difficult situation, and been too weak to show the same tough love my sweetheart had shown me.

Some hurt is good. And this is very good hurt. #Relationships #Purity #Dating #DatingLikeAirplanes
But some hurt is good. And this was very good hurt.

Relationships are where marital principles start to take form. And the whole aim of marriage is to love each other as Jesus loves—to give each other one hundred percent of your love even when the other is not reciprocating.

You need to take one hundred percent of the responsibility in your physical purity—even when your other is making it difficult. 

If your other suddenly becomes weak-willed, it doesn’t give you freedom to go along with the poor decisions. Quite the opposite. It gives you an even weightier responsibility to shoulder. It puts you in the hard position of having to hurt your other’s pride in order to obey God.

But again, it’s a good kind of hurt.

Now, if you’ve already gone much farther than you ever wanted to go physically, don’t think it’s too late to right the ship. Will it be difficult? Yes. But it will also be sweet for you and your other. Because your bones will no longer groan with unrepentant sin. It’s never too late to give your physical sin to Jesus. But at the same time, it’s never too early, either. Don’t keep on living in guilt-ridden pleasure just because you’re planning on getting married. Put an end to it. Build moats. Respond to your alarms. Pursue a three-cord relationship. 

Marriage isn’t a technicality with God. It’s sacred. And he commands that we stay pure until that day. This includes taking responsibility not only for your actions, but the other person in the relationship as well.

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God — 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

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