Early in my relationship with Brittney, I felt like burying my face in the sand. Not because we’d done something wrong, but because neither of us knew what to do right. We were subtly directed not to talk with each other until we were older, but nothing else. We were given a list of “thou shalt nots” but no direction about doing relationships right. This led both of us into emotional tailspins.
There’s much more to the story, but the takeaway is this: We needed someone to go to Scripture and show us what God says about relationships.
Obviously there’s no Book of Relationships in the Bible, but there are so many beautiful truths that show us how to date well. Like giving what’s needed most over taking what’s wanted now.
This kind of Jesus love gets to know the other in a way that’s so far beyond physical attraction (Proverbs 19:2). It goes above and beyond in showing honor (Romans 12:10). It radiates patience, kindness, and truthfulness to the other, always doing what lifts up (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). It clothes itself in humility and makes itself a servant to helping the other progress in character (1 Peter 5:5).
It builds respect by treating the other as though he or she were a brother or sister—and the very temple of God (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). It speaks to the other with integrity and dignity (Titus 2:7-8) and refuses to lust with its eyes (Matthew 5:27-30). It does everything it possibly can to keep the other sexually pure and emotionally whole, even if it means seeking help outside of the relationship (1 Corinthians 6:18; Proverbs 4:23; Proverbs 15:22; Proverbs 27:12). It cries out for God to search itself for mixed motives and manipulative ways (Psalm 139:23-24). It always plans ahead, knowing that it wants to do what’s right but far too easily chooses what’s wrong instead (Matthew 26:41).
There’s no Book of #Relationships in the #Bible, but there are truths that show us how to #date well.
Above all, it ignites a beautiful romance by helping the other seek God first in everything (Proverbs 16:3; Matthew 6:33). It sets its mind to helping the other lay up treasures in heaven, live by every word of God, and exude intimacy with Jesus (Matthew 6:19; Matthew 4:4). It challenges the other to dive deeper into the abundance of Christ, gaze at his beauty, dwell on his loving-kindness, and praise him for all that he’s done (Psalm 27:4; Isaiah 63:7).
The statements above probably feel overwhelming—too much for any one person to handle. They might make you think, So all I have to do is be perfect? Great. Thanks for that.
The fact is, yes, flying requires a lot. And if this standard were based merely on dos and do nots, it would be impossible.
But it’s not. It’s based on Jesus.
Not the safe, Christianized Jesus many of us take him to be. I’m talking about the Jesus who wants a thriving, growing, supernatural relationship with you. The Jesus who says you will do greater things than he, becoming witnesses to the entire world through the Holy Spirit ( John 14:12). The Jesus who’s waiting for you to move mountains, walk on water, stun religious people, and turn this world upside-down.
Knowing and following this Jesus is the basis of a beautiful relationship.
"Values are part of your life. Forge them out of what the Bible teaches. Make them part of your dating world." — John Townsend and Henry Cloud